After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.
