Sexual experience jokes

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

I just had sex.

I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"

My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.

Have you ever tried sex when camping?

It's f***ing intense.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.