Seem jokes

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.

Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.