My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late.. Guess who's late now..
They laughed at my drawing so I laughed at their chalk outline 😈
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”
Zu are playing as Ukraine in Military tycoon and then someone kills you, you see who killed you in nuke revenge and it says Putinmoserfucer2342
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
bin laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1 #justice
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
So In revenge of the sixth when Anakin goes and kills the younglings I thought to myself hey it’s just another day in an American school
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.
my girlfreind dumped me; so i stole her wheelcar and guess hwo came crawl back
My gf dumped me so I took her wheel chair
Guess who came crawling back
My therapist once said, 'time heals all wounds' So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers
Prince might be with a new girl but he still wants Gwen, who dosent. Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through gmail. We broke up, its over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I missed you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry I can't hear you...your breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Want more go to break up jokes, love jokes, hate jokes and Revenge jokes and rape jokes!
People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
Somebody stole my joke
So i stole their spinal cord.
