Religious Figure jokes
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Priest
Jesus.
Priests are priests.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.