Reliability jokes
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.