I read the brothers grim books, then I see a black figure reaping about. I realized someone has died. But I don't do anything about it. I continue to read and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do for 3 hours , then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"
me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I've been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom but then he realizes it's air.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
You've realized I exist? Huh, cool.
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
most poeple don't realize this, but the F in orphan, stands for family.
guess what song this is from:
I'LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES
OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD
OR STAB YOUR TIL' YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING
I'M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I'M TOLD
So at school there are these twins at my school so I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them once I realized I why it felt so wrong to do it I had already threw them I hit the north then the south one.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
When you lock the door, but you realize its a pull open door:
I was making fun of an orphan ,then i realized he tracked me down . I made a bad decision he was batman!
when you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
