Reading Material jokes

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

You reload and keep shooting.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?

Reload and keep firing!

I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.

What do you read on Halloween?

I was reading a book about anti-gravity, I couldn't put it down!

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.

9/11 victims are the best readers.

They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.