My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self raising...
Your mama is so fat. Even God couldn't raise her spirit.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid “If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollar how much do you have?” Everyone one raised their hand except one little girl.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Today in 3rd grade english the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take ur clothes off?" Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "you can't ask that." The english teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired." Finally Little Tim raises his hand, "the shower ma'am." The english teacher clapped her hands, "good job Tim and as for you Elsa you do not have the body for that."
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flours Orphan-👁👄👁
how to kick a deaf person off the plane step1 pretend to yell and get some friends to do it too step 2 tell your friends to raise both of there hands step 3 hes out of the plane on a parachute.
Women be like men are trash forgets women raised those men.
a teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favourite football team is saying "raise you hand if it is Scunthorpe" every student but one raised their hand. the teacher asks "why don't you support Scunthorpe?" the child answers "my parents support Grimsby and so do I". the teacher comes back with "why are you copying your parents? what if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" the child answers then i'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards"
Little Johnny was in class and his teacher asked "how many of you guys are trump fans?" since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well except little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "why are you being different again Johnny....." so little Johnny says "well because im a democrat. My mom is a democrat and my dad is a democrat, so im a democrat!" so then the teacher responds with "well what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot what would that make you?" well little Johnny says, "a trump fan!"
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
I was raised as an only child.
Which really annoyed my twin sister.
A magic genie tells Tom,"I can make anything of yours disappear!" Tom:[raises his mug]: Okay,get rid of my tea. Genie:poof! om:it didn't work.
What should people do with their floppy dicks? I Give them a Good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of someting
What flavour do you buy an orphan? Self raising
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldnt get up out of his wheelchair, and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
i thought you were just raising your eyebrow but I checked x-ray and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.
