Puns
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.