Psychic jokes

The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!

Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.

—Shane Richie, British actor

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

I'm psychicking your butt.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large!

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.