Playwright jokes

What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?

Shakespeare.

Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?

The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."