Petroleum jokes

Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Do your buses run on time?

No, they run on diesel.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.