Persecution jokes

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

Lemme tell you a little story.

It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

And finally... you peel back the last plank.

And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

BOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s Anne Frank.

They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

like this if you have ever been abused.

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.