Periodic Table Jokes

Autism

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

Science

Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?

Because you are looking a little bit GaY.

Gold

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

Child

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Wordplay

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.

Mercury

Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?

Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!

Gold

A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”

Gold

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Helium

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.