If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
