Parent jokes
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.