New Owe Jokes

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an APOLOGY

Lock him up, you k ow trump!

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"

A woman walks into a bar, and says ow.

There was a plane crash the pilots names where Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow

what does Michael Jackson saw when he stubs his toe?

OW!

Ow! you hit the spot!

1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

What will happen if someone kick you right in the balls? You will be like ow my nuts.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

What's wrong with 89? You blow me and I owe you one

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. he says to the bartender "I have a deal, if i can hold my dick in the alligators mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink" and so the bartender agreed. the man, like he said, had his dick in the alligators mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. he made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. he did it and drank his drinks. then he said to the amazed crowd, "would anyone like to volunteer?" one man raised his hand. he walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "just a warning, i don't think i can hold my mouth open that long."

Q: a guy walks into a bar what does he say? A: ow

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."