What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
tree how do you get and emo out of a tree you cut the rope
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
