Out jokes

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

Battery 1%.

I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

What do you call a fish without eyes?

A fsh.

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.