Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says experied.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad ... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon
Technobable's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above)
Whats the difference between the twin towers and the poeple at the old folks home. They both collapsed
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road? Organ harvesting
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him
What does a 100 year old pornstar and the white stripes have in common? Icky Thump
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg! Atheist: you prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad ya definitely got the last laugh!
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten year olds
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl? Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean seriously haven't you got something better to tell
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6 year old in the trunk of my car.
17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved they quickly resolved the threat.
yo mama so old she got nostalgia for the big bang
yo mama so old she witnessed noah building the ark
Call this for a gay old time xxx 0275535101
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”
