Off jokes
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Memes
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!