OED Jokes

What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common? They can both carve a new emotion.

boy: hello mom can I have have 50$.mom:does it look like I am made of money.boy: that's what M.O.M means right.

I went out for a drive, and attempted to drift on the road, it didn't end well for me, or fo the speed bumps I hit. *wait. there isn't any road bumps* *o h s h i t.*

dang... if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put D IN U ;)

i only know there is 25 letters in the alphabet, i don't know Y.

(mE: how many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (friEnd: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(mE: there are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (crUsh: no. there is actually 26) -- (mE: oooOoh, i forgot u r a q t ! so its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (crUsh: you forgot the D) -- (mE: thats not needed yet ;] )

what letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

20 years later Jhonny: Hey dad Dad:yea? Jhonny: Fuck you I ain't comin back to your grave in 16 years then ima come back BITCH Dad: doing the same thing i did to you and your mother ay i deserve it :( ;O not reall...NOT A FUCKING ALL. Jhonny: Yea you kinda fucking do. Dad:...

I wanna be the berry best, like no won ever was. To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel a cross the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to Under-strand, the lower that’s in Sike. Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my pest friend, In a whirl’d you must de-blend, Poke him on! Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all! Pokemon!

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE:I wanna be the berry best, like no won ever was. To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel a cross the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to Under-strand, the lower that's in Sike. Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a whirl'd you must de-blend, Poke him on! Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all! Poke him on!

this mute kid was getting made fun of.. o told him to speak up for himself

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp* Teacher: “can I have ur parents signature? It isn’t filled out.” Orphan: “um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....” Teacher: “why?” Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom:sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30 and there 18 so is it a reverse pedo? O well