Numeracy jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?