No jokes
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).
Stand? Wait. No.
Memes
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
No way, Jose!
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
George Floyd was in a TV show, "Fresh Prince of no hair."