No jokes
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Memes
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
This is a link to a YouTube channel. No joke text provided.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"