Nightlife jokes

I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.

I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."

I like strippers on me.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?

A: Beers for Queers.

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"

Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.