Newborn jokes
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
da baby
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...