Newborn

Newborn Jokes

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

What's the difference between a new born baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but least one gets picked up.

What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.