Worst Jokes Ever

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?

I.C.E. water.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

“Life is going swimmingly,”

“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.