Worst Jokes Ever
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
I'm inventing a new glue and calling it "Six Seven"... it's a chemical brainrott.
Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
US Marine: Knock knock!
Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?
US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.