Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
What the sigma?
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
