Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Special needs

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

Skyscraper

How do skyscrapers make friends?

They reach out.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

Terrorist

What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?

"Okay, Boomer."

Michael Jackson

Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

A clock.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

Pirate

What does every pirate hate?

A small chest with no booty.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.