New Zealand jokes
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Community talk
This is the WJE genie. I will grant wishes and predict your miserable future. The AG family will all get very rich and famous and become the next Kardashians leosarefire will recover from their eye surgery and move to North Korea because they are Ching Chong Hanjisungswife, yuri, kidzbopuwu, and all the aussies will move to New Zealand. Dagger and Dagger Jr. will become the owners of WJE and overthrow trolls BoredPanda will cease to exist in a day or so. I have been looking through all the comments. These predictions will be true in no time! In the meantime, the trolling will begin.
-A FUNNY STORY-
Do you know the funny and strange story of a woman who burned a frozen rabbit? No? Then read this. Have fun. And don't forget to comment if you liked the story or not. Please don`t write mean comments if you don`t like it. What's your opinion on the story? . . .
"This jar is full of stupid worthless things, but they’re worth something to me” - Miranda Harcourt.
On a clear, but cold Wellington after… Read more