I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
