Mommy cow jokes
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."