New You Memes - Page 82 - Worst Jokes Ever

Test

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

When you beat the system

The image shows a text at the top saying: "Teacher: Write True or False". Below it is written "Frlse". Below these elements is a two-panel image. On the left is a man smiling and pointing at his head with the word "STUDENT" under him. On the right is a man looking surprised and skeptical with the word "TEACHER" under him.

Kiss

Chri5 · 3 years ago

Fair point.

A social media post with a comment thread. The initial post states, "being kissed in your sleep is...like...the purest form of love." A reply to that comment reads, "Unless you are home alone" and is followed by another comment "Or in prison."

Baptism

Chri5 · 3 years ago

Crap, not again

An image shows a painting of a man with a halo holding a book. Text reads: "When the ceremony's been over for hours and you remember you didn't take the baby out of the water after the baptism." The book reads "AMORIS LAETITIA".

Holiday

Lostin Flowers · 3 years ago

Bluey

The image is a three-panel meme. In the first panel, a person smiles widely with text that says "Everything is going really well and you feel great about your life's trajectory." In the second panel, the same person looks distressed with text that says "The holidays brought difficult questions from family and now you're overthinking everything." In the third panel, a scene from the cartoon "Bluey" is shown with the same person smiling again.

Charger

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Me on Monday morning with both my phone and computer

A picture of Kevin Hart with a sad expression. The text says: How you look when you wake up & the charger wasn't plugged in.

Brother

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

My brother when i slap him on the arm. But at the same time they are not about to grow up soft.

A man with a surprised expression has his finger in front of his lips, as if telling someone to be quiet. The text says "WHEN YOU SLAP YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND HE STARTS TO CRY."

Teacher

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Teacher picks me because she/he knows i'm not listening

An image shows five gophers standing in a field. The gopher in the middle is in focus, with the other four gophers slightly behind. The text on the image reads "Why do you always pick me? There are others, ya know!"

Lecture

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Joke turned serious

A young child is looking confused with his hand on his cheek. The text above reads: "When you tell your parents a joke and it turns into a lecture."

Noah

Lostin Flowers · 3 years ago

When you overslept and can't find Noah

The image shows a dinosaur standing on a paddle board in the water, with the text 'When you overslept and can't find Noah'.

Eating

IZABELLA💖💖 · 3 years ago

//////.....

A close-up photo of a chipmunk with puffed cheeks. The text reads: "WHEN YOU ALREADY STARTED EATING AND SOMEONE SAYS 'LET'S PRAY'".

Meme

IZABELLA💖💖 · 3 years ago

...

Dog

emo · 3 years ago

frfr

A picture of a husky dog standing up among purple flowers with the text "YOU CAN'T SEE ME I'M A FLOWER" written in black on top and the bottom of the image.

Company

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Man I hate it when companies do this crap, now you can't commit toaster bath anymore

A silver toaster is floating in space with a galaxy background. Text is written over the image: "New waterproof toaster."

Daughter

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Toaster Strudel

A close-up shot of a Toaster Strudel with icing, placed on a white surface. Above the image, text reads: "Netflix: Are you still watching?" and "Somebody's Daughter:".

Toaster

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

The TRICKSTER

The image shows a character labeled "The Trickster" from a video game or fantasy setting. Above this character, text reads, "When you identify as a toaster so you can get in a bath with an emo girl."

Error

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Or Holy Oils work

A picture shows a mechanical figure in a red hood holding a staff with a gear on top. The text on the image reads: "When you fixed a minor error on your computer by googling it. I hold the secrets of the machine spirit."

Secret

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

I know them all, just like you keep busting onto your computer keyboard, that's why it's always got sticky keys

The image shows a disassembled car key at the top and a drawing of a mechanical character with glowing blue eyes with the text "I know the secrets of the machine". The caption at the top reads "when you learn how to disassemble your car key".

Gender

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

I also got mine replaced, hehe, I have a special surprised for you UwU

The image is a four-panel grid. The first panel shows the text 'Male and Female' next to a figure in a red robe. The second panel shows 'Non-Binary' next to an identical figure. The third panel shows 'Impossible to tell under all the machinery and tubes' next to another identical figure. The fourth panel shows the text 'Gender is irrelevant meatbag, I have replaced my genitalia with a neutron laser' next to the same figure now raising its arms.

Toaster

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Holy Omnissiah indeed

The image shows a four-panel comic. In the first panel, a person asks a large, muscular figure in red armor, "Wow! How did you get like that?" The second panel shows the same figure, with a text bubble saying, "Every time Adeptus Mechanicus posts a toaster meme." The third panel shows the muscular figure saying, "I do one push-up." The final panel shows the person from the first panel with wide eyes and the text, "Holy Omnissiah."

Toaster

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"