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Mate

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Family

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

Place

27 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post with three comments. The first comment from user landorus says "lets have phone sex over walkie talkies". The second comment from user rninor says "bend over" "bend what? over". The third comment from user striderofthenorth-dom says "I hate this place".

Woman

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

On the left side of the image, a group of people is sitting around a large dinner table. On the right side, a doge is wearing a black t-shirt that reads "50,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain?!"

Whats

3 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

Dad: Do you wanna know what your sister said while she
lost her virginity?
Son: Dad, please stop this is inappropriate
Dad: Exactly

Overlord

2 views · Apollo · 2 years ago

Hahaha now what overlord should i kill next

A cartoon of the character, Alastor, with the text: "What is Captain Hook's favorite break-up line? It's not you; it's Smee!"

Whats

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Are you out of mind!
Why do you carry those bricks!
Now is bedtime!
I'm tryna get like you
mama I mean you got
them airbag titties
like hubba hubba
honk honk type shitt
wanna know what it
feels like to carry
around all that
weight you been
carrying around all
your life I mean at
least since you was 14
not that I would've
been into it at that
age I'm just sayin like
you got them
bazooka bubble
breast and I'm tryna
chew on that
experience got me
bricked up fr fr

Crack

191 views · Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A parody of a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Hobbes the tiger asks "CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". Calvin is sitting on a porch smoking from a small pipe and answers "CRACK". Hobbes reacts with wide eyes and a speech bubble saying "WHAT THE FUCK?!".

Human

6 views · Wade · 2 years ago

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

Outfit

1 view · Wade · 2 years ago

Maid Outfit

A comic panel with a character wearing a white outfit with a hood asking "YOU GONNA KILL ME, ZODIAC?" A figure in a black mask replies "KILL YOU?? HOW WOULD YOU PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT IF I KILLED YOU?" The white character replies, "I'VE DIED BEFORE, AND... WAIT, THE WHAT?!" The masked character says "ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAT WAY. GOOD CALL!"

Shrek

3 views · Goku is dum · 2 years ago

What happen to shrek

A close up of Shrek's head with a soft, slightly pained smile. His ears are visible and he is set against a light green background.

Number

11 views · mal♡ · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange with two people. The first person initiates with "oooo yayyyy" and "hey babe" followed by "Hey what baby?". The second person replies with "do you know what numbers better than 69?". The first person replies "What?" and the second responds with "88". The first person asks "Oooo. Whys that?" The second person responds with "cus you get ate twice". The first person says "Ooo thats good" and both follow with "ahahahahaha" and "Hahahahaha".

Tool

Hgfdfrgt · 3 years ago

Whats the frist thing u see

The image shows a shelf full of plungers in a store. Most of the plungers have a red rubber cup and a yellow handle. Some have a red rubber cup with a blue handle and one with a clear plastic handle. The prices are shown at the bottom.

School

9 views · THE ALPHA WOLF · 1 year ago

A cartoon image shows a list of things that school doesn't teach, such as how to pay fanum tax, how to gamble, how to rizz up a gyatt, and skibidi toilet lore. A cartoon character is wiping his nose in the foreground with a school building behind him.

Hospital

5 views · 𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂𝔂 · 2 years ago

The image shows two panels. The left panel depicts a person lying in a hospital bed with tubes in his nose. The text above him reads: "When your boss asks for proof you're in hospital." The right panel shows the character Baby Yoda. Above him the text reads: "Boss: You should've been here at 8. Me: Why, what happened at 8?"

Autocorrect

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Catch

2 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

What a catch

A man, Donald Trump, with a wound on his face holds up a baseball glove with a ball in it. Another man with sunglasses stands behind him. The American flag is in the background.

Warning

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a warning sign with the word WARNING on top and an illustration of a person seemingly exploding in a cloud of smaller fragments.

Sign

2 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

wtaf dose it meannnn

The image shows a red and white circular traffic sign on a pole, with a symbol of two figures intertwined in a suggestive way. Above the sign the text reads: "CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THIS SIGN MEANS".

Chatbot

135 views · Heroin Monkey · 22 days ago

A split screenshot of a Facebook Messenger conversation with the official Zootopia movie page. On the left, the user Ian says 'hey'. The chatbot, identified as Officer Judy Hopps, asks if he is ready to make the world a better place. Ian replies 'im ready to kill myself'. The chatbot responds 'Great! That's what we're all about here at the ZPD!'. On the right side, the chatbot has sent a long, repetitive string of messages saying 'please don't'.

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