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Whats

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Are you out of mind!
Why do you carry those bricks!
Now is bedtime!
I'm tryna get like you
mama I mean you got
them airbag titties
like hubba hubba
honk honk type shitt
wanna know what it
feels like to carry
around all that
weight you been
carrying around all
your life I mean at
least since you was 14
not that I would've
been into it at that
age I'm just sayin like
you got them
bazooka bubble
breast and I'm tryna
chew on that
experience got me
bricked up fr fr

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Whats

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Mate

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

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Family

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

Place

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post with three comments. The first comment from user landorus says "lets have phone sex over walkie talkies". The second comment from user rninor says "bend over" "bend what? over". The third comment from user striderofthenorth-dom says "I hate this place".

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Woman

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

On the left side of the image, a group of people is sitting around a large dinner table. On the right side, a doge is wearing a black t-shirt that reads "50,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain?!"

Sasuke

Manga fan · 3 years ago

Meme:

The image is a four-panel comic strip featuring anime characters from Naruto. In the first panel, Sakura asks Sasuke, "Sasuke, am I pretty or ugly?" In the second panel, Sasuke replies, "You are both!" In the third panel, Sakura looks confused and asks, "What do you mean?" In the fourth panel, Sasuke responds, "You're pretty ugly." Below this, there is a TikTok watermark and a group of people laughing.

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God

Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

A special quote:

The image is a four-panel comic. The top left panel shows an off-white character with a circle head and simple features saying "What if you". The top right panel shows a stairway leading up to a bright sky with clouds, with the text "wanted to go to heaven?". The bottom left panel shows the same character with an upset expression and the text "But god said:". The bottom right panel shows a yellow character with big eyes and a big smile, with the text "You are a disgrace to the entire art community, and the entire world would rejoice if you never touched a piece of paper again ever!!!!!"

Type

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A two-panel comic shows a white anthropomorphic wolf wearing a red apron standing behind a table and asking a black anthropomorphic rabbit reading a menu: "So, what type of pasta do you recommend?" In the second panel, the wolf, smiling, says, "I think fagottini would be your type," while the rabbit looks surprised and holds up a card with a rainbow flag on it.

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Crack

Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A parody of a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Hobbes the tiger asks "CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". Calvin is sitting on a porch smoking from a small pipe and answers "CRACK". Hobbes reacts with wide eyes and a speech bubble saying "WHAT THE FUCK?!".

Outfit

Wade · 2 years ago

Maid Outfit

A comic panel with a character wearing a white outfit with a hood asking "YOU GONNA KILL ME, ZODIAC?" A figure in a black mask replies "KILL YOU?? HOW WOULD YOU PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT IF I KILLED YOU?" The white character replies, "I'VE DIED BEFORE, AND... WAIT, THE WHAT?!" The masked character says "ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAT WAY. GOOD CALL!"

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Hospital

𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂𝔂 · 2 years ago

The image shows two panels. The left panel depicts a person lying in a hospital bed with tubes in his nose. The text above him reads: "When your boss asks for proof you're in hospital." The right panel shows the character Baby Yoda. Above him the text reads: "Boss: You should've been here at 8. Me: Why, what happened at 8?"

Human

Wade · 2 years ago

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

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Autocorrect

Anonymous · 2 years ago

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Shrek

Goku is dum · 2 years ago

What happen to shrek

A close up of Shrek's head with a soft, slightly pained smile. His ears are visible and he is set against a light green background.

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Number

mal♡ · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange with two people. The first person initiates with "oooo yayyyy" and "hey babe" followed by "Hey what baby?". The second person replies with "do you know what numbers better than 69?". The first person replies "What?" and the second responds with "88". The first person asks "Oooo. Whys that?" The second person responds with "cus you get ate twice". The first person says "Ooo thats good" and both follow with "ahahahahaha" and "Hahahahaha".

School

THE ALPHA WOLF · 1 year ago

A cartoon image shows a list of things that school doesn't teach, such as how to pay fanum tax, how to gamble, how to rizz up a gyatt, and skibidi toilet lore. A cartoon character is wiping his nose in the foreground with a school building behind him.

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Warning

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a warning sign with the word WARNING on top and an illustration of a person seemingly exploding in a cloud of smaller fragments.

Catch

Anonymous · 1 year ago

What a catch

A man, Donald Trump, with a wound on his face holds up a baseball glove with a ball in it. Another man with sunglasses stands behind him. The American flag is in the background.

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Tool

Hgfdfrgt · 3 years ago

Whats the frist thing u see

The image shows a shelf full of plungers in a store. Most of the plungers have a red rubber cup and a yellow handle. Some have a red rubber cup with a blue handle and one with a clear plastic handle. The prices are shown at the bottom.

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