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Florida Man

tabs1528 · 1 year ago

The image shows a news report with the headline "Florida Man Disguises Himself in Bull Costume as He Tries to Burn Down Former Lover's House With Pasta Sauce". Below the headline is a picture of a man with dark hair and a slight beard. Below the man's photo, the screen shows the text "Men Use Spaghetti Sauce in Burglary Plot, Deland, Volusia County."

Sand

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a picture of Barack Obama with the caption "Let me be clear". Above the picture of Obama is the text "Sand when it gets above 3,090 degrees:".

Body

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A still image from the Muppets. Gonzo, a blue puppet with a large nose and grey hair, is looking at Kermit, a green frog puppet. The text below the image says, "Gonzo uses his psychic powers to crush Kermit's brittle, amphibian body."

Equation

sonicjokesmemesandposts · 1 year ago

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Hitler

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Guy

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A face with a serious, almost annoyed expression is in focus. The text on top reads: "How I look at the guy using the urinal next to me who just said, 'Where there's rain, there's thunder!' as he farts while pissing."

Helicopter

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Money

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

Toilet

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A very dirty and damaged toilet is shown for sale. The text reads: "Used and abused toilet $15 Listed over a week ago in Buffalo, MN."

Microwave

Swf · 2 years ago

The image shows a Minecraft landscape filled with red rocks and a body of water. There are several blocks of TNT laid out in the foreground. The text overlay reads "My microwave stopped working, time to use my pc to cook some beef."

Assassination

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A news screen shows breaking news about an assassination attempt on Trump with a live chat on the side where people are commenting.

Fleshlight

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A sign that reads: "www.bridgewatercurlingclub.com. You think you can hurt my feelings. I used to hold the fleshlight for my dad."

Meme

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A character with glowing red eyes and dressed in black leather says, "Your meme, it's useful. I'll take it."

Hero

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

A multi-panel comic shows a group of men discussing an Overwatch hero, followed by a panel of the hamster character, and a final panel of the men looking shocked. The text in the first panel says: "Ok, we need to make an Overwatch hero people won't use as porn material." The text in the second panel says "Perfect!". The last panel contains the text "10 Seconds Later".

Sphere

Willy b · 2 years ago

A cross-section diagram of the Y-1561 implosion sphere showing component placement with the text "You happy???"

Screen time

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message reads, "Bro I'm on twitter way too much. I'm genuinely obsessed." The second message, in blue, reads, "Why do you have 107 hours on Applebee's?" Above the text messages is a screen time report. Applebee's is listed as the most used app with 107 hours. Twitter is second with 10 hours and 21 minutes. Safari is third with 4 hours and 8 minutes. YouTube is fourth with 1 hour and 26 minutes.

Protection

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A woman with light hair holds a white sign that reads: "I'm glad your parents didn't use protection."

Autocorrect

Anonymous · 2 years ago

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Boob

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a tweet. The tweet says: "using my boobs as stress balls."

Bookmark

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A rotisserie chicken is placed on the pages of an open book. The text overlay reads: "Didn't have a bookmark. Just using a rotisserie chicken instead. Dude wth is wrong with you. You can't even close the book, how is that a bookmark? Can't knock it till you try it."

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