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Today

Today Memes

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Heroin Monkey
8 months ago
Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    8 months ago
    The image shows two people, one fat and one skinny. A faucet is pouring water into the fat person's mouth, labeled "mental health support," while a few drops are going toward the skinny person. The fat person is labeled "Woman feeling a bit down today" and the skinny person is labeled "Man who wants to kill himself".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    8 months ago
    A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    8 months ago
    The image shows a tweet by Stanford F. Pines, PhD. He tweeted, 'It appears that there are 4 inches of snow today.' The tweet is above a picture of a hole in the snow, which is where he took the measurement.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    8 months ago
    A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".
  • 0
  • sonicjokesmemesandposts
    9 months ago

    wow mario got done dirty

    The image is a four-panel meme. The top left panel shows an old video game screenshot of Sonic with the text: "When the drowning countdown starts, but Tails takes the air bubble. SCORE 34160 TIME 2:03 RINGS 341 guess I'll die". The top right panel says: "KIDS TODAY GETTING THEIR VIDEO GAME TURNED INTO A MOVIE GET THIS" and shows two images of Sonic: one old and one new movie version. The bottom left panel says: "KIDS IN MY DAY GOT THIS..." and shows an image of a Goomba. The bottom right panel shows an image of the live-action version of King Koopa.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    9 months ago
    A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first text says, "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?" The second text says, "Thanks dad". There is a green "Ok" bubble, and the last text, which is from "dad", says: "You're a taxi".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    9 months ago
    A dog sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding the book 1984 by George Orwell. The text on the image says: "I got banned from twitter today. Time to quote a book I never read."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a text message exchange. The first message says, "Hey babe, I'm horny send dunes." The reply asks, "Don't you mean nudes?" The original sender says, "Nah, I want to see them sexy ass sand formations."
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    10 months ago
    1
11
2 46 83 60 127
1
1
2
I just found out my brother kitted
himself
Serious
He texted me at 3 am today but I was asleep. If I
just stayed up I could have done something. I
feel responsible for this, I don't know why he
would do this. I could have done something
9.3k
SuperPikaFan100 ⚫ 3h
S3 Awards
you snooze you lose
932
↑ Share
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Reply -55
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    10 months ago
    The image shows two pictures side by side. The top picture is an anime character with red hair and a red jacket, looking off to the side. The bottom picture is a person with reddish-brown hair and a red jacket, looking directly at the camera. Below the bottom picture, there is text that says, "Got ready for school today and realized I accidentally dressed like Ayanokoji. Just shows how similar we are. I'm literally him.. (A manipulative bad@$$ that can and will control you.)"
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a series of repeated text messages. The first message is "Check out this meme", which is followed by "I saw that earlier". This pattern is repeated several times in a messaging app format with some nesting of message threads.
  • 0
  • ✨Jassy✨
    10 months ago
    A young boy is looking at the camera with a slight smile. The text on the image says: "guess who's feeling extra emotionally unstable today"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A tweet with text "Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening" above a tweet by @Dexerto saying "The Hawk Tuah Girl is launching her own podcast under Jake Paul's media company". Below are two side-by-side images of Jake Paul looking surprised and the Hawk Tuah Girl smiling.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message, sent on Saturday at 10:25 PM, reads "Wyd baby girl" with heart eyes emoji. The second message, sent today at 8:02 AM, reads "I want your lil autistic ass to be mine" with a winky face emoji. The third message reads "Wyd today."
  • 0
  • Jazzy💕
    1 year ago

    Me bitchhhhhhhhh

    A young boy with brown hair smirks slightly at the camera with the caption "guess who's feeling extra emotionally unstable today"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a headline from an Op-Ed piece with a picture of an old wooden cabin and a man with a white beard. The text reads: "Op-Ed: Today's Youth Simply Don't Have The Work Ethic To Build The Gulags Needed For Their Communist Ideals."
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    1 year ago
    A tweet saying, "Yo guys, I have this girls nudes should I keep em? She died so idk. Since I have em and she's dead they are kinda like rare ass pokemon cards. Discontinued by manufacturer type shit," is shown above a screenshot of a concerned-looking chef from the movie Ratatouille.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a Discord message that reads, "Nah but why does your appendix do absolutely nothing and then just try to kill you?"
  • 1
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