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Today memes

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A meme shows the text "Me: 'Yes, I am still young.' My spine:" above an image of a man looking down and saying, "I said we old today."

A screenshot of a text message conversation. One person sends a series of increasingly demanding requests, such as asking for social media passwords and demanding the other person to unfriend girls. The final text from the other person says, "Bitch done lost her mind."

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

A screenshot of a text message exchange. In the first message, the sender says, "You a pussy ass nigga." The recipient replies, "Who is this?" The sender responds, "The nigga you robbed." The recipient claims it's the "wrong number". The sender says "Get that nigga cuh" and the recipient says "I'm trying."

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The first person asks the other to close their eyes and then asks what they see. The other person does not respond.

The image shows a Discord chat where user 'rat' says 'Hi, I'm new. Anyone?' followed by 'ratfucker is typing...'. Below this is a still from a video game with the text 'Rat' pointing to a character and 'Ratfucker' pointing to another character who is walking towards him.

A person's arm with many fresh cuts is shown. A barcode scanner is pointed towards the arm. The text says "*beep* "I'm sorry this item is worthless."

Genuine question to you all

The image is a table with the title "How are you still alive!?" There are eight numbered rows, each with a different answer: #1 "I'm not." #2 "I HAVE NO IDEA!" #3 "I had to go to work today." #4 "I'm doing science and I'm still alive." #5 "Too much swag." #6 "$7.52". #7 "yro'ue" and #8 "Spite". There's a signature "Bc" in the top right corner.

My friend is has the best ideas

A screenshot of a discord conversation. Windy says that hopefully a bad situation wont happen, and the two friends might work it out. Seth replies with 'Eh'. Windy then says if the situation happens too much, to just put the persons parents in a retirement home. Seth replies with 'Lmao'.

It's 5050

The image displays text on a black background. It reads: "3,026 years from today, life will either be really good or really bad. It's 5050."

A three-panel comic strip showing a person with a sad cloud over their head. In the first panel, the person thinks "not today, sadness.". In the second panel, a winged person uses a mop to wipe away the cloud of sadness. In the third panel, the person stares at a vacuum cleaner hanging from the ceiling.

A plush rat wearing a chef's hat and apron is holding a wooden spoon. The text on the image reads "hey guys what emotion does this image make you feel?", and there are two chat replies: "lust" and "anyone else".

Not mine, but still funny

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message bubble on the left says "i called". The second message bubble on the right says "i watched it ring". Below the second message it says "Read 10:02 AM".

A dark horse wearing a hat is inside a bar. The text above says "You're never gonna believe what just happened" and the response is "Tell me". The text below says "horse in the bar".

A cast iron skillet in a dishwasher with yellow and blue bowls. The text overlay reads: "I want to make some strangers on the internet unreasonably mad today, but first I need to put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher."

...

A close-up portrait of a man with a heart tattoo on his face. The text overlay reads: "Rappers today be lookin like a desk in detention".

A black and white photo of soldiers landing on a beach from a boat. In the middle of the photo is the cartoon character Chris McLean with his arms spread out in a welcoming manner. The text on the image reads, "Alright campers, today's challenge is gonna be a hard one."

The image is a comment from user ElderMaxson69, saying, "Maybe instead of riding a dick, you would prefer riding in a set of T-60b Power Armor? Join the Brotherhood of Steel today and take back the commonwealth. Ad Victoriam!"

A banner that says "VIBRATOR RACES TODAY" hangs over a booth where multiple vibrators are laid out on a table.

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