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Parody

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

Diary entry

30 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Infidelity

22 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

That

33 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Story

26 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Snitch

77 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

Lamp

9 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."

Election

26 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.

A news article with the headline: 4D Chess: Democrats Admit Trump Actually Won In 2020 And Is Now Unable To Serve Third Term. Below the headline is the text: POLITICS - Nov 7, 2024 - BabylonBee.com. Underneath is an image of several politicians standing at a podium with the US flag behind them. The woman at the podium is speaking.

Brit

31 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Snow

25 views · MEME LORD · 1 year ago

The image shows a tweet by Stanford F. Pines, PhD. He tweeted, 'It appears that there are 4 inches of snow today.' The tweet is above a picture of a hole in the snow, which is where he took the measurement.

Cake

18 views · MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A layered cake with blue, pink, and white frosting is sitting on a white cake stand. The question is asked if the cake is scary and a comment below states that they have always wanted a cake that cuts itself.

Zombie

18 views · tabs1528 · 1 year ago

The image shows a two-panel Drake meme. In the top panel, Drake is turning away, with the text "Chi-Ha in the tech tree." In the bottom panel, Drake is happily pointing, with the text "Zombies that shoot lasers from their dicks."

Pilot

45 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Two tweets are shown. The top tweet from Jon Favreau says: "Stop sending me pilots for your Star Wars series idea. I'm not that @Jon_Favreau." The second tweet from Jeffrey R. Epstein says: "I feel your pain."

Weed

129 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Minecraft movie

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The text reads: Calling it now. The Minecraft movie is gonna have a scene where Jack Black gets hit in the balls or something and says "Ack! My cubes!" because he has cubes for balls and the joke is that his balls are cubes.

J. Cole

5 views · RealBoat · 1 year ago

NOOOO not cole

A photo of J. Cole with dreadlocks wearing a yellow sweater. Text on the image says: "ran that shit like Diddy" and "J. COLE, 'LAND OF THE SNAKES' GENIUS"

Windows

10 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A survey asking how likely someone is to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or colleague with a scale from 1 to 5. The explanation provided below states that people don't usually recommend operating systems randomly in conversations. Below the survey is written: "THIS IS NOT TRUE. Have you ever seen a linux user?"

Bill

37 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A receipt with the text: Bill. Dine In. Server: Jessica A. Tab: Bill. 1 Pina Colada "Extra Creamy" Idfk. That's just what he said he wanted. I guess add whip before you blend. Idfk. I hate it here.

Word

57 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man smiles in two panels, the first with a raised index finger, and the second with a smirk. Above the first panel, the text says: "In Swedish, the word 'gråtrunka' means to cry while masturbating." Below the second panel, the text says: "The fact that they actually have a word for that is a real tear jerker."

Wish

22 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

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