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Hamster

167 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A photograph of a screen showing a user review titled "It's good but..." by user Type40 2020 on 20/12/2023. The review body says "My hamster just grew his first pube". The review has 5 stars. Overlaying the image is the text "Bro what" with a wilted flower emoji.

Hand

316 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.

Man

120 views · Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a video platform resembling YouTube, featuring a video titled "Twink Starts Liking Men After Receiving Heart Transplant From Gay Man". The video is from "DisruptiveFilms" and includes tags like "threesome", "deepthroat", "pounding", "twink", "bareback", "anal", and "tattoos", along with the name "Jared Kent". The video thumbnail shows two shirtless men. Below the video, a comment from user "bkusa" reads: "Nice refreshing story line, actors didn't look like porn stars which was a plus but you made a huge mistake. coming from someone who has had open heart surgery the young man who received the organ shows no incision for the rib cage to be cut down the sternum then spread open so the transplant could happen. Serious make up is missing on this and is the only thing I can think of that would stop a 5 star rating in my opinion."

Kitten

21 views · Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A close-up selfie of a man's face, showing his eyes and the top of his nose, with text overlays above and below his eyes. The man has light blue eyes and light brown hair visible on his forehead. The text expresses an overly dramatic and intense plea for a reply, using terms like 'Kitten,' 'dagger,' 'alpha,' 'digital stars,' 'untamed dominance,' and 'pixelated princess.' The text is centered and appears in white font against transparent black bars.

Restaurant

24 views · Anonymous · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a TripAdvisor web page. The page displays a title 'The 10 Best Restaurants in Birmingham'. Below the title, an image shows a Shell gas station with multiple fuel pumps under a large yellow and red canopy. Text below the image reads '1. Shell Garage', followed by five green circles representing a five-star rating, then '(127) • Open Now'.

Age

29 views · The RĒAL RB · 11 months ago

NO!!! NOT WIFISKELETON!!!!!!

The image shows a screenshot of an article about the death of hyperpop artist Wifiskeleton who died at age 21 after a suicidal statement and haunting final livestream. The article states that he was reported dead by close friends, with the circumstances surrounding his death still largely unknown, except for fan reports and claims. Above the article, there is a picture of Wifiskeleton.

Life

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. The anonymous poster lists a series of things they are not obsessed with such as NFTs, being transphobic or a nazi, male hierarchies, Twitter, pop stars, and annoying youtubers. The poster concludes that life is good and encourages others not to be dumbasses.

Review

16 views · Nico Di Anglo · 1 year ago

A t-shirt with a picture of Abraham Lincoln and the text "Ford's Theatre. Awful. Would not recommend." There is a one-star review.

Sky

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A photo of a city skyline at sunset with the Star Wars opening crawl text overlayed onto the sky. The text reads, "...Jedi... to assist the overwhelmed ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC on the critical issue of creating..." above a city at sunset. The text above the photo reads, "Thanks to less air pollution, the sky is so clear we can see the Star Wars opening text."

Christmas

2 views · Pankake · 1 year ago

The image is split into two panels. The left panel shows a white bird wearing a red Santa suit and looking to the right with a serious expression. The text reads: "You really gonna scroll past and not say Merry Christmas?". The right panel shows a yellow and orange bird perched on top of a Christmas tree. The text reads: "Because in this house there's only one star".

Pilot

46 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Two tweets are shown. The top tweet from Jon Favreau says: "Stop sending me pilots for your Star Wars series idea. I'm not that @Jon_Favreau." The second tweet from Jeffrey R. Epstein says: "I feel your pain."

Steve Harvey

5 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

Rent

440 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

Time

143 views · Your local comrade · 1 year ago

🎵There's a star-man waiting in the sky🎵

In a comic book style image, Superman flies with other heroes in the background. Text in the foreground reads: "Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it, they have to climb up to the two tallest buildings in New York."

House

RapBoat · 1 year ago

A map view shows a large house. There is a green map pin labeled "Owned by Kendrick". Below the house is a listing that says "DrakesChildChamber, 3.0 stars, kindergarten, open 24 hours."

Santa

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man with a beard is looking at a holographic display. The text above him reads: "Santa making sure poor kids get proportionately cheaper presents."

Toothpaste

32 views · R3Y · 2 years ago

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

A product image of a green figure attached to a toothpaste tube and covering the opening. The text on the image reads: 'Toothpaste Cap Kids Toothpaste Attachment. Visit the Handmade Store. 4.0 stars. 15 ratings. Best Price on Amazon. -30% $8.99. List Price: $12.90. FREE Returns. A fun toothpaste cover that will make kids love brushing teeth. Produced in a 3D printer with organic PLA material that can be degraded in nature. It is placed on the cap of the toothpaste tube instead of the toothpaste cap. (Not compatible with non-standard pastes) It is not a hazardous material (toy). Do not wash in hot water or in the machine. The toothpaste tube product in the product is for promotional purposes. You can contact us for color preferences.'

Hot pocket

74 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Hot Pockets package with the text "Made with 100% existential dread. THE ENDLESS COSMIC VOID with the sound of a thousand collapsing stars in a suffocating groan." Instead of a typical filling, the inside shows black tentacles and other strange shapes. There is also text describing the product as "OVERWHELMINGLY STUFFED WITH VISIONS OF THE ABYSS -THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE - THE LENGTH OF TIME - THE EDGE OF REALITY" The label says "Nestle Hot Pockets"

Guy

7 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A photo of Godzilla with the text overlay: "This guy didn't win an Oscar until he was 70-years-old and had starred in 38 movies. Never stop following your dreams."

US Government

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture of a person from the movie The Matrix with text overlaid in three sections. The text says, "Born too late to own property. Born too soon to be a teen TikTok star. Born just in time to be afraid of the US government."

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