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Death

Composed Spider · 1 month ago

Dr. House

A black and white image of Dr. House with a serious, intense expression is shown within a news report frame. The top left corner has a "LIVE" tag. A red banner across the image reads "BREAKING NEWS". The main headline states "Dr. House shot dead in The Bronx". Below this, a yellow bar contains the smaller text "no more mouse bites".

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Police

Big Jim · 6 months ago

They had to teach him a lesson

A photo shows three police officers (two men and one woman) standing with a young boy on a sidewalk in a residential area. The boy is holding a pizza box. The text beneath the image describes a scenario where a 15-year-old misused 911 to order pizza. The police initially delivered the pizza to teach him a lesson, followed by the dark punchline: "Then shot him 20 times."

Offer

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A screenshot of an online marketplace interface. The text reads: "Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer?" Below that, the item's "Price" is listed as "US $350.00", the "Previous Offer" as "US $20.00", and the "Message from seller" states: "You should be shot."

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Film

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

The image shows a serious-looking man with a light yellow button-up shirt and a dark tie, wearing glasses. His expression is one of subtle disapproval or judgment. Above him, white text on a black background reads: "Film majors when your favorite film isn't a Macedonian epic from the perspective of a potato during the 1500s written in proto-indian english and shot in black and white for 'film reasons'".

Exclamation

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

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Car

MATTIX · 1 year ago

The image shows a side-by-side comparison of two cars with text above and below each image. The image on the left shows a red classic car with the text "Cars in action movies" above it and the text "Still works after being shot 1000 times" below it. The image on the right shows a small black car with the text "Cars in horror movies" above it and the text "Can't even start" below it.

Family

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

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Cyberpunk

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet talks about "Cp", an abbreviation for child p***ography. The second tweet shows Walter White in a car yelling, "HANK, DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK!"

Nut

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of phrases that are bad to say after ejaculating. The list includes, "Whoopsie-doo, here comes the goo", "It's slime time", "Have some brogurt", "A shot of goo from me to you", "Gonna splurt the 'gurt".

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President

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Cop

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text that reads: "the cop who just shot me 12 times in the chest seeing the true power of the indomitable human spirit as I continue to walk towards him unfazed (I'm on methamphetamine)". Below the text is a cat with a wide eyed, slightly frightened expression.

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Machine Gun

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An image of a homemade machine gun. The gun is made from an electric drill, a wooden gun stock, and metal components. Text underneath the image reads: "80-vuotias hämeenlinnalaisinsinööri kehitteli porakoneesta konetuliaseen, jonka tulinopeus on 420 laukausta minuutissa. Aseeseen sopivat 22 kaliiperin panokset. An 80-year old engineer from Hämeenlinna (a city in Finland) made a machine gun out of an electric drill, which has a firing speed of 420 shots per minute. The gun takes .22 rounds."

Racism

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

The image shows a four-panel meme. Each panel has a different scenario, with a crying, angry-looking character on the left and a TV screen on the right. The text next to the crying character in each panel says "THAT'S RACIST!" Each panel has a different statement. First panel, text says "Why is the black guy the villain?". Second panel, text says "Why does the black guy have to get shot?". Third panel, text says "Why is it only black people killing each other?". Fourth panel, text says "Why are there no black people in this movie?". The TV screen in each panel depicts a different scenario. Panel 1 shows a black person pointing a gun at a white person. Panel 2 shows a white person pointing a gun at a black person. Panel 3 shows a black person pointing a gun at a black person. Panel 4 shows a white person pointing a gun at a white person.

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Ukraine

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two frames. In the first frame, a man in a suit is asking, "Mr. Putin, why did you invade Ukraine?" In the second frame, another man in a suit responds, "I am just coming to that. You see on May 28th, 2016, a gorilla was shot at the Cincinnati zoo..."

Police Officer

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two pictures side by side. The picture on the left is a policeman in uniform. The picture on the right is a man looking at the camera. The text in the image says: This is Heartwarming. This police officer was called to a grocery store in response to this man stealing food to feed his family. Instead of arresting the man, the police officer shot him 38 times.

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Time

Wade · 2 years ago

Sounds amazing

A cartoon of Rick, from the "Rick and Morty" series, looks disoriented with blurred background of alcoholic bottles. The text in the image reads: "When the first 4 shots don't hit you so you take 3 more and then they all hit you at once."

Machine Gun

Wade · 2 years ago

Filthy Lies.

A two-panel cartoon shows a conversation between Moon Knight and Spiderman. Moon Knight in the first panel says: "Hey, I heard you impaled a guy with a machine gun and shot three other people while it was still in his chest. Is that...? Lies. Filthy lies." In the second panel, Spiderman replies: "Oh, good. Because-- It was FOUR people."

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Face

period boo · 2 years ago

A close-up shot of Shaquille O'Neal with a slightly skeptical or surprised expression, looking off to the side.

Self

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost

The image is a screenshot of a post on worstjokesever.com, displaying a conversation thread with several comments. It includes comments like 'Congratulations. No one gives a shit', 'Feeling right, looking tight. Come get the drinking shots on the rocks' and 'Ofc you're using song lyrics because you can't talk for yourself'.

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Childhood

GG Miller · 3 years ago

I did all this

A Minion is standing in front of text that reads: When I Was Younger... - I put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost them. - I slept with all my stuffed animals so none got offended. - I restarted the video game when I knew I was going to lose. - I poured soda into the cap and pretended I was taking shots. Can You Relate?