Worst Jokes Ever

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Science Memes

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white image of a cow with a speech bubble containing the Greek letter mu.

Tsukuyomi

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Adolf kitler

A white cat is sitting in a transparent glass bowl. The text says, "Cats are liquids". Then it quotes the definition of liquid and says, "That's it. So cats are liquid."

Adolf kitler

A white cat wearing glasses and a bow tie is sitting at a table with scientific glassware. There is a blackboard behind it with formulas on it. The text reads: "What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces? Guacamole."

Heroin Monkey

The meme shows a question from a post asking how people in the Middle Ages knew what skeletons looked like without x-ray machines. An edit to the post says, "I forgot about dead people." Below the post is an image of Megamind with an evil grin, and a dial with settings ranging from small to mega, with the dial pointed to mega.

Heroin Monkey

A hand presses two buttons on a beverage dispenser. The left option has a text that says: "Publishing numerous studies on the benefits of genetic diversity". The right option says: "Having ten children with your cousin". Under the hand, the text says: "Charles Darwin".

Cosmo the Intern

A picture shows a research lab with three scientists in lab coats. In the foreground, two scientists have their arms raised and their bodies are slightly bent over as if in shock. Behind them is another scientist and all around them are small hamsters with flames coming out of their backs. There is text at the bottom which reads: "Before DOGE Cuts Funding, NIH Working Feverishly To Complete Study On The Effects Of Giving Meth To Jetpack-Wearing Hamsters. CAMBRIDGE, MA - A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an important project before the D..."

Heroin Monkey

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a newspaper headline that says "The T. Rex may have been a lot smarter than you thought" written by Dino Grandoni from The Washington Post.

MEME LORD

The image shows a tweet by Stanford F. Pines, PhD. He tweeted, 'It appears that there are 4 inches of snow today.' The tweet is above a picture of a hole in the snow, which is where he took the measurement.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a comparison between a "Girlfriend" and "Uranium-235" each with a list of properties. Both are "Unstable", "Will split up on you", "Hard to find", and "Expensive". The girlfriend "Cannot be used to make atomic bomb" but the uranium can.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a picture of Barack Obama with the caption "Let me be clear". Above the picture of Obama is the text "Sand when it gets above 3,090 degrees:".

NGC 6611

The image shows a periodic table with some elements arranged as blocks from the game Tetris, with the text "how they REALLY made the periodic table" above it.

NGC 6611

The image consists of three panels stacked vertically. The first panel shows a portrait of Isaac Newton, with the text "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation." The second panel shows a portrait of Albert Einstein with the text "I believe I'm relatively aware of it." The third panel shows a portrait of Charles Darwin, with the text "Guys! Don't let this evolve into a huge argument."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard is in front of a brown curtain. The text "Five Scientific Reasons To Kill Yourself" is at the bottom. The uploader is "balding science man". Underneath is the text "Published on 9 May 1945, were going off the air after this one forever, hello darkness my old friend".

big [fire] balls

The image shows a platypus at the top, with the text "On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said..." underneath. Below that is an image of a cartoon God giving a thumbs up with the text "let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out".

Heroin Monkey

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

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