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Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

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Fish

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A white sign with black text on a dark post. The top of the image has text "Ocean's closed for business". The sign itself has a large bold heading "Please do not fuck the fish" and lists bullet points: "It can make them sick", "They may bite you", "It changes their behaviour", and "There's plenty of squirrels in the forest if you really need a fleshlight". Below the bullet points, it says "Please help protect the fish and keep the marine reserve natural". At the very bottom, it reads "Department of Conservation Te Papa Atawhai". On the left side of the sign, there's a small graphic of a hand holding a fish with a prohibition symbol over it, and text "yeetbob.yeetpants" vertically along the edge.

Exam

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A handwritten note on lined paper shows the biological classification ranks: Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, written below a sentence with arrows pointing up from each rank to a corresponding word. The sentence reads: Dear Kevin, Please Come Over For Gay Sex. Above the note, text from a tweet says 'Gonna ace this exam'.

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Calvin

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

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Windows

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A survey asking how likely someone is to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or colleague with a scale from 1 to 5. The explanation provided below states that people don't usually recommend operating systems randomly in conversations. Below the survey is written: "THIS IS NOT TRUE. Have you ever seen a linux user?"

Ride

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

just follow me please one more im at 50

A baby with pigtails in a swing is shouting with one arm raised. Text overlay reads: AT DAWN WE RIDE.

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School

cocomelon · 3 years ago

The image shows a text exchange on the left and a close-up of a distressed face on the right. The text reads, "Classmate: *curses* Me: I'm going to tell the teacher! Them: please don't Me: *raises hand to go to the bathroom*"

Kid

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A yellow Minion with a big grin is on the left. The text reads: "Roses are red, violets are blue, Catherine please just let me see the kids again please."

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Flashlight

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A photo shows two flashlights pointing to the bottom of a closed door with the text "ladies please just hear me out".

Radio

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A text transcript of a radio conversation between the British and the Irish. The British ship demands the Irish to change course, the Irish respond that they are a lighthouse.

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Toy

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a B-52 Stratofortress taking off. The text on the image reads: "I am not a toy. I am not a Christmas present. I am a 100 year commitment. Please think hard before you give someone a B-52 Stratofortress this Christmas."

Sister

Chri5 · 3 years ago

Wait a minute...

A yellow fish from SpongeBob is sitting in front of a red laptop. The text on top reads: "Teacher: Can you tell your little sister to stop making faces, please? *me knowing I live alone*"

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Toe

Kai :) · 3 years ago

would you mind upvoting my art please https://malmal.io/u/skilllevel0

The text 'I stuck my toes in the warm and grainy sand.' is displayed on a black background.

Restraint

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

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Body

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

Skeleton

Anonymous · 8 months ago

Make sure to drink milk!!! | Daily Spooktober Meme #2

A skeleton sits in the passenger seat of a car, buckled up with a seatbelt. A white piece of paper taped to the window next to it reads: "Please don't break the window. The A/C is on. He has milk and is listening to his favorite spooky music."

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Sex

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of two Reddit comments on a dark background. The first comment, from a deleted user, asks about the lengths of depravity humans will go to for sexual stimulation and the torment they can endure for the possibility of sex. Below this, another user, whose name is obscured by a red bar, replies 'please help they found me i fucked a cactus'.

Photoshop

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The text says "We love all of our fans, but please stop photoshopping pictures like this. Thanks". The image shows SpongeBob holding Patrick in a suggestive pose.

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Driver

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows three panels. On the left, a damaged black car says: "Please stop giving me your worst drivers and let me die." On the right above, a drawing of Jesus says: "But you're my strongest Altima. Meet your next driver, Hayleigh." Below Jesus, a drawing of a girl with pink hair exclaims: "omggggg yayyyy"

Access

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is a two-part Twitter post. The first is a request from Bosnia and Herzegovina to Croatia for access to the Adriatic Sea, showing a map with the landlocked status of Bosnia and Herzegovina. The second part is a response from Croatia with a picture of Megamind making a pout with the words “NO BEACHES?” written on it.

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