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Longing Memes

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

wheelchair creed

I really like

The image shows an old fashioned illustration of a person in a wheelchair with the text "I REALLY LIKE LONG ROMANTIC WALKS IN THE PARK" in decorative font.

Heroin Monkey

A Valentine's Day card featuring a picture of Rick Astley with the text: "i'll keep u rolling all night long. to: from:".

gyattohio

A tweet that reads: "Math teacher: the boat is 50 feet long. Me: feet?!?! *starts jaking off*"

Face mc shooty

A cartoon fish swims in the ocean with the text "when u too broke for a plan B so you lowkey gotta dive in shawty ocean to retrieve your long lost children."

Silly Sonka

This took a long time to make

A four-panel comic depicts a conversation. In the first panel, Meme Man, dressed in Santa garb, says "FOR CHRISTMAS I WANT A DRAGON!" In the second panel, another meme face replies "BE REALISTIC". In the third panel, Meme Man states, "I WANT 1K FOLLOWERS ON WJE". In the fourth panel, Meme Man asks, "WHAT COLOR DO YOU WANT YOUR DRAGON" to a cat with a red nose. The cat responds "YE".

Wade

Don’t think, just do, live in the now, don’t care about the future, yeeeeee

The image shows a cartoon character with a shocked expression sitting in a blue chair with his finger pointed. The text above the character reads: "When she asks if you brought protection:". Below the cartoon, the text states: "How dare you make me consider the long term!"

Tsukuyomi

A photo of a tablet on a table displaying a custom-made Pokemon card of Mr. Bean. The card lists his name, HP, and two attack abilities with descriptions and attack points.

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A timeline showing important events. The timeline begins 'Long ago' on the left and ends with '2025' on the right. Events include: the wheel, a picture of basketball player LeBron James labeled 'the bron', an air fryer, fire, and femboys.

Heroin Monkey

A timeline shows that the most important events in history include the invention of the wheel and fire in the past, and the fleshlight today.

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon character with a red face, wearing sunglasses, and smiling is displayed in the center. The text below the cartoon reads: "so long suckers! I rev up my motorcycle and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

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