Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Longing Memes

Face mcshooty

A cartoon fish swims in the ocean with the text "when u too broke for a plan B so you lowkey gotta dive in shawty ocean to retrieve your long lost children."

gyattohio

A tweet that reads: "Math teacher: the boat is 50 feet long. Me: feet?!?! *starts jaking off*"

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a person lying in bed with their cat. They are holding a Nintendo Switch in front of the cat's face, displaying a video game. The lower part of the image contains text from a message board, including the lines: "Long term gf and I just broke up. This is the best way I know to mend a broken heart." And a comment with an image of Pepe the Frog saying: ">framed picture of a fucking fan, Why do Americans do weird shit like this?"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a funeral service with the caption "this funeral long ahh hell". In the foreground a mobile phone displays a scene from the cartoon "Family Guy".

Heroin Monkey

A map of Italy is shown with a very long boot photoshopped onto the peninsula. The text reads: "why tf y'all say Italy looks like a boot it'd be so long" with a crying-laughing emoji.

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A timeline showing important events. The timeline begins 'Long ago' on the left and ends with '2025' on the right. Events include: the wheel, a picture of basketball player LeBron James labeled 'the bron', an air fryer, fire, and femboys.

Face mcshooty

A screenshot from Toy Story features Woody's face with a shocked expression and slightly open mouth. Text at the top reads: "Me giving my granny with dementia astronomical backshots after she thought I was her long dead husband."

Yugi

A photo of a tablet on a table displaying a custom-made Pokemon card of Mr. Bean. The card lists his name, HP, and two attack abilities with descriptions and attack points.

Heroin Monkey

A timeline shows that the most important events in history include the invention of the wheel and fire in the past, and the fleshlight today.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon character with a red face, wearing sunglasses, and smiling is displayed in the center. The text below the cartoon reads: "so long suckers! I rev up my motorcycle and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

big [fire] balls

The image is a two-panel meme. The top panel shows a platypus with text that says, "Quick Animal Facts: Most platypuses don't have to secretly fight a criminal mastermind who keeps on making unstoppable, long named gadgets." The bottom panel shows a man with text saying, "What do you mean, 'most?'"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Heroin Monkey

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

A Star Wars Fan

The image is a grid of nine photos. Each photo shows a person who is made to look like a celebrity and has a name similar to that of the celebrity. The top row features "Pů Ting," resembling Vladimir Putin, "Yi Long Musk," resembling Elon Musk, and "Di Nhi Rho," resembling Robert De Niro. The second row showcases "Zhorxe Bus," resembling George Bush, "Wok," resembling Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and "Yuan-i Diệph," resembling Johnny Depp. The bottom row presents "Yin Di Zhêl," resembling Vin Diesel, "Bhra Di Pitth," resembling Brad Pitt, and "Zhong Xina," resembling John Cena.

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message conversation with a dark background. In the first message, a sender states, "Girl, you're really pretty!" The recipient replies, "Thanks, but I'm a dude." The sender then says, "Oh, you look like a girl. You trans?" The recipient responds, "No, I just have long hair." The sender replies with insults. There are emojis included.

Unimportant Intelligence

It works, my brother has never slept better

A man is lying in bed with a pillow under his head. Text overlay: "DID YOU KNOW? If you hold your breath for a long time you can sleep forever."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

real

A man with a wide, slightly maniacal smile is in the bottom part of the image. Above him in white letters it says: "Driving at 200 mph in a school zone:".

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