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Guys only want two things in life

A split image. On the left, an anime-style couple is hugging with the text: "Shh... There, there it's alright. There's no need to worry. You don't need to hold your tears back anymore. I love you." On the right, a cat is shown with the text: 你完成了我的命運世界在我裡面展開你完成了我的命運光環走你重按我的命運倒帶我們可以你補充我的位置你補充我的位置來救我

Wade

The image shows text that reads "Doctor: It was a long and hard surgery, but we reattached your torso. *credit card declines* Doctor:" above a picture of a yellow figure holding a red figure. The red figure is being held with their head down.

The Unknown King of Moderation

NO MY LONG DRAWN OUT MESSAGE

A low-resolution 3D model of a bald man with a mustache and glasses is displayed. The man appears to be Walter White, and the background is a blurry, nondescript texture. He has a slightly distorted, stretched appearance. The man's facial expression is neutral.

原田

The image shows a drawing of a couple lying in bed, kissing and cuddling. Above the image, the text reads: "How I wish I could be right now:".

Anonymous

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

Heroin Monkey

A man leans over to grab a bag on the ground next to a woman who is sitting at a table using her phone. Text on the image says, "Country road" near the man and, "me home" near the bag.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

real

A man with a wide, slightly maniacal smile is in the bottom part of the image. Above him in white letters it says: "Driving at 200 mph in a school zone:".

Heroin Monkey

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

wheelchair creed

I really like

The image shows a stylized drawing of a man in a wheelchair. The text reads "I really like long romantic walks in the park."

Grizzlymilk

Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked

Heroin Monkey

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

rapboat

The image shows a text about Chance the Rapper releasing an album after three years. He says he is proud, but the text continues with the reaction of the entire rap community who say "Hahaha. This sucks man." Below the text there is a picture of a man looking up with the caption "Hahaha. This sucks man."

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message conversation with a dark background. In the first message, a sender states, "Girl, you're really pretty!" The recipient replies, "Thanks, but I'm a dude." The sender then says, "Oh, you look like a girl. You trans?" The recipient responds, "No, I just have long hair." The sender replies with insults. There are emojis included.

Blach666

(O
42
Is that a trans person 11:32 pm
Das a cow
Dog human Hybrid 11:33 pm
So ye pretty much 11:33 pm ✓✓
11:33 pm
11:31 pm ✓
No lee
11:34 pm ✓
It's not your mother Edited 11:34 pm ✓
It's a dog x human hybrid 11:34 pm
Your mummy left a long time ago
11:34 pm ✓

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Heroin Monkey

grandegarlic
bogleech
werewarg
onlylolgifs
Polymer balls that are invisible in water
IMAGINE PUTTING LIKE 10 IN SOMEONE'S BATH AND THEY
GET IN THEY JUST START FREAKING OUT BECAUSE
THERES SOMETHING TOUCHING ME BUT THERES NOTHING
IN THE FUCKING WATER WHAT THE FUCK OMFG
you're not thinking big enough
make them in the shape of people with huge long fingers and hide
one in every swimming pool in America
please calm down satan

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