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Girl

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧ · 2 years ago

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

Towel

Advice · 3 years ago

your choice

A woman is lying down and has many small doll-like figures on her face and body. The text overlayed on the image says, "When he takes too long to get the towel."

Wish

原田 · 2 years ago

The image shows a drawing of a couple lying in bed, kissing and cuddling. Above the image, the text reads: "How I wish I could be right now:".

Pig

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.

Ex

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

A still image of a Bionicle figure with the text "Alabama boys when their ex comes back to them after the break up. You lost the right to call me 'brother' long ago!" overlaid.

Life

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

Guys only want two things in life

A split image. On the left, an anime-style couple is hugging with the text: "Shh... There, there it's alright. There's no need to worry. You don't need to hold your tears back anymore. I love you." On the right, a cat is shown with the text: 你完成了我的命運世界在我裡面展開你完成了我的命運光環走你重按我的命運倒帶我們可以你補充我的位置你補充我的位置來救我

Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Message

The Unknown King of Moderation · 3 years ago

NO MY LONG DRAWN OUT MESSAGE

A low-resolution 3D model of a bald man with a mustache and glasses is displayed. The man appears to be Walter White, and the background is a blurry, nondescript texture. He has a slightly distorted, stretched appearance. The man's facial expression is neutral.

Country

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man leans over to grab a bag on the ground next to a woman who is sitting at a table using her phone. Text on the image says, "Country road" near the man and, "me home" near the bag.

Speed

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 2 years ago

real

A man with a wide, slightly maniacal smile is in the bottom part of the image. Above him in white letters it says: "Driving at 200 mph in a school zone:".

Father

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Sleep

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

Prank

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A hand holds a clear, translucent polymer ball over a body of water, demonstrating its near-invisibility when submerged. Below the image, a text conversation on Tumblr describes a prank idea: first, putting invisible polymer balls in a bath to scare someone, and second, escalating the idea significantly to hiding large, shaped figures in every swimming pool in America.

Fleshlight

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A timeline shows that the most important events in history include the invention of the wheel and fire in the past, and the fleshlight today.

Breakup

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Ad

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A screenshot of an online personal ad. The headline reads 'I need a female to fart in my mouth - m4w - 34 (Detroit)'. Below the headline, there is a photo of a man and his age listed as 'age : 34'. The ad text reads: 'I want a big beautiful black lady here in Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just want you to get on the couch and bend over so I can open my mouth wrap my lips around your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long filling up my mouth, while I masturbate.'

Plan

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A cartoon fish swims in the ocean with the text "when u too broke for a plan B so you lowkey gotta dive in shawty ocean to retrieve your long lost children."

Foot

gyattohio · 1 year ago

A tweet that reads: "Math teacher: the boat is 50 feet long. Me: feet?!?! *starts jaking off*"

Longing

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Amazon

Grizzlymilk · 2 years ago

Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked

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