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A screenshot of a Twitter post with white text on a black background. The text reads: 'No one baselessly starts blaming Jews for everything. It actually goes like this: "I hate the media" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate the porn industry" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate our foreign policy" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate Wall Street" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate academia" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" "I hate Israel blowing up kids" "Wait there's a bunch of Jews behind this?" That's the actual sequence of events.'

Shitpost master-general

A white car, possibly a utility vehicle, is parked on a paved surface. Its hood is painted with the Israeli flag design, featuring blue stripes and a blue Star of David on a white background. Text overlayed on the image reads, "NOT ONLY DOES IT STOP ON A DIME, IT GOES BACK TO PICK IT UP." In the background, a person on a bicycle is visible. The car has an Israeli license plate "33-278-57".

Shitpost master-general

An old colored photograph shows a man resembling Albert Einstein standing in front of a blackboard, gesturing towards a drawing of a 9-volt battery and a smoke detector with the word "Chirp!!" next to it. A group of young Black men, dressed in suits and ties, are seated in rows, attentively watching him. The top text reads: "So as you can see, the smoke detector has a 9 volt battery which goes here..."

Spongebob sitting in a red armchair with an unimpressed expression. Above Spongebob is the text "NO HOMIE GOES UN-KISSED" and below Spongebob is the text "IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT".

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

Rate my daily schedule

The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."

The image shows two pictures side by side. The left picture shows a smiling priest in a black robe holding a book. The right picture is of Woody, a toy character from the movie "Toy Story" with his distinctive cowboy hat. Above the pictures, text reads, "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PRIEST AND WOODY?" Below the pictures, the text continues with "WOODY GOES LIMP WHEN A CHILD ENTERS THE ROOM!"

A meme showing three men, likely religious figures, seated at a panel. The top text states, "These guys say women YouTubers can't go to heaven because men have masturbated over them." Below the image, a screenshot of a social media comment reads, "Rubbed one out for them, now no one goes to heaven."

A picture shows a priest on the left and Woody from Toy Story on the right. The text on the image asks, "What's the difference between a priest and Woody?" The punchline is below: "Woody goes limp when a child enters the room!"

Sex with a downy simplified

A meme split into two sections. The left side shows two peaches and a banana with text “THIS SIDE UP”. The right side is a photo of a person with Down syndrome and the text “THIS SIDE DOWN”. Below these two images is the text “THIS IS HOW SEX WITH A DOWNY GOES”.

A cartoon penguin with a confused expression is superimposed with a translucent image of itself looking like it is phasing out. The text above the penguin reads, "WHEN MY BRAIN GOES ON A LITTLE ADVENTURE," and the text below reads, "INSTEAD OF ATTENDING THE CONVERSATION I'M HAVING."

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Yourgirl_gabby13!

This goes out to my ex no name droppin tho

A two-panel image of the Pepe the Frog character. In the left panel, Pepe looks sad and forlorn. In the right panel, Pepe looks angry and resentful. The text above the image says, "When you miss someone and then you remember what they did to you."

A blue solid deodorant stick with a bite taken out of it. The packaging is red and has some text on it. The text on the packaging says, "odor goes on clear. Bold scent. Cedarwood forms unfresh of confidence."

The image shows a picture of Luce Irigaray at the top. Below, there is an excerpt from an article discussing her views on physics and sex. At the bottom there is a picture of Fry from Futurama with the caption: "I HAVE TRANSCENDED ABOVE AND BEYOND THE EMOTION OF ANGER".

A person in a red uniform shows a screen with code to a bear walking away in the forest. The text above the image says: "If you meet a bear in the forest, just ask him to review your pull request so he pretends he didn't notice you and goes away".

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

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