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Self-defense

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The CONSTITUTION is not optional.

The image features a news headline stating, 'Czech government tells its citizens how to fight terrorists: Shoot them yourselves.' Below the headline, several handguns are displayed. The bottom part shows a character holding a pistol from a video game with the text 'we can't expect God to do all the work.'

Country

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows the text 'Middle Eastern countries on their way to fight over the same piece of desert in the middle of nowhere for the 1000th time (the god poopenfarten said it belonged to them)' above an image of Thanos, with a sword, ready to fight.

Satan

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

A two-panel cartoon showing a stick figure with a thought bubble saying, "if god creates bad people and satan punishes bad people then satan is the good guy." Below, another stick figure in a Wendy's uniform says in a speech bubble, "Sir, this is a Wendy's."

Child

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a wallet full of money lying on the ground, surrounded by wood chips. The text above the wallet asks, "As a child of god, what's your next move?" The text below the wallet says "To thank him".

Injury

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Bro is doing tricks on it😭

The image shows a tweet by user Kurrco, stating that Playboi Carti was injured during the shoot of a music video for the song 'KETAMINE'. There is a video thumbnail and an image of a knife hanging from a ceiling. There is also a reply from user Ferzsc, expressing extreme sympathy and offering to take Playboi Carti's pain.

Rescue

randomone · 2 years ago

Being heroic is just not his thing

The image is a four-panel comic strip. The first panel shows a hand reaching up from water with the text "Whitney Houston" written above it. The second panel shows a hand reaching down with the text "God" written above it. The third panel shows a hand pushing the drowning hand down with the text "You're dead." written above it. The final panel shows the hand completely submerged with bubbles.

Plan

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An image shows a screenshot of a group called "Plans to create and worship our leviathan lobster god", with a description explaining how to grow a lobster to divinity. Below is an image of a hand hovering over a button that says "Join Group!"

Boy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A close-up image of a newspaper headline. The main text reads in large, bold font: 'PASTOR KIWEWEESI IN BUM SEX SCANDAL'. Below this, a sub-headline reads: 'Boy Drags Flashy Man Of God To Police For Terrorising His Buttocks With Monster Whopper'. There are also small portraits of two men labeled 'ACCUSED: Kiweeweesi' and 'SHAFTED: Arinaitwe'.

Ham

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

The ham is in fact processed

A slab of processed ham with text describing the ham as an "unholy meat obelisk" and its processing as an "abhorrence" while also saying that it is a “declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order”.

Teen

DrNoob72 · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-panel meme. The upper panel shows a magazine cover with a headline that reads, "Paralysed teen learned to walk" and below "Hit by car...and paralysed again". The magazine also has two images, one of a woman standing smiling and another of her receiving medical attention. The text "As Jade is now" can be seen too. The bottom panel shows a close up of Iron Man with a caption that says "God" over his face and "Stay down. Final warning." at the bottom.

Yoda

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme showing a close-up image of Yoda with text above. The text reads: "Me: 'Yoda please get out of my asshole PLEASE get out it hurts oh god it hurts.' Yoda: 'mm reach your colon i must.'"

Rug

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

Home

BigDaveFan · 2 years ago

A white paper with black text and a simple black drawing of a figure with a long nose. The text reads: "It's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves."

Goose

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man in a military uniform with a black beret holding two guns. The text above the man reads "Me on my way to the local park to remind geese that it is man who is made in Gods image."

Hand

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a question "What's up with Gods holding their right hand up?" above four pictures. The first picture shows Jesus with his right hand raised. The second picture shows Shiva with his right hand raised. The third picture shows Robbie Rotten with his right hand raised, and the last picture shows Buddha with his right hand raised.

Review

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

Religion

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a split-screen. On top, a man with no arms is saying, "Through God, all things are possible." Below him, a woman is yelling, "DO 10 PUSH UPS RIGHT NOW!"

Cereal

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Worm

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person is holding a worm up to their nose as if they are going to snort it. The text says: "If God didn't want us to snort worms... He wouldn't have made them cylindrical!!! WORM SNORTING CLUB. Every Monday and Thursday! Location changes often!" The background is a colorful, psychedelic swirl pattern.

Dick

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text conversation followed by a hand pushing a blue button labeled "nute". The text depicts an awkward sexual encounter with a man using heavy Irish slang.

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