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1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Life

A black and white image shows a cartoon-style character with spiky hair and raised hands, overlaid with the text 'When your life is falling apart in ways you could never imagine, you start to appreciate the script.' Below the character, it reads 'ABSOLUTE CINEMA.'

Hate

A man is covering his face with one hand. The text above the image says: "When the person you hate falls" and below the man it says: "omg is the floor ok?"

Phone

The image shows a distorted, close-up of a face with a pained expression, likely SpongeBob, paired with the caption "What your phone sees before it falls on your face."

Thought

Me when I’m trying to fall asleep:

A cartoon image of a character with red hair, sharp teeth, and a red suit holding a glass of champagne. Speech bubbles say: "If you think about it... Thinking about thinking is the hardest sort of thinking there is."

Game

Im the best at tetris

A screenshot of a game of Twitch Tetris. The game displays a message "Good game! Better luck next time. Your score was 100". The controls are displayed with Move Block A, D; Soft Drop S; Rotate W, E; Save Piece Shift; Hard Drop Space; Pause Esc.

Brit

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Wine

Oh

A text message conversation. The first message says, "Started my juice cleanse yesterday and also went for a hike." The second message says, "bullsh*t, what'd you really do?" The third message says, "drank 3 bottles of wine and fell down the stairs."

Fridge

this is especially fun with human body's

The image shows a meme. The text says "WHEN SOMETHING CLEARLY DOESN'T FIT IN THE FRIDGE SO YOU FORCE THE DOOR SHUT AND LET IT FALL OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE". Below the text there are two faces, one is a yellow cartoon character with a wide grin on the left and another one is a cowboy with flames around him on the right.

Show

Honestly tho it’s a pretty good show

Rizz

From the Lorax

The image shows a scene from the movie "The Lorax." The text overlayed reads: "Am I a Truffula tree because I'm falling for you? (Aunt Grizelda rizz)".

Minecraft

Don’t u just love Minecraft?

A photo of a man falling from a tall building with text overlay that says "GOTTA PLAY" at the top and "CREATIVE MODE" at the bottom.

Victim

Simple, right?

A top-down view of a long, white, concrete spiral stairwell. The character Kermit the Frog is shown blurred and falling down the stairwell. Text near Kermit reads "9/11 victim," and text at the bottom center reads "Floor."

Character

A stick figure is surrounded by images of people falling in various situations, such as down the stairs, into water, or slipping on a wet floor. A yellow sign reads, "Caution Wet Floor." The text on the image says: "Name a character who went through more pain than him."

Misunderstanding

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message from the right is 'how tight'. The response from the left is 'Loose.' followed by 'Poop just falls out'. The message from the right is 'bruh i meant how tight r we'. The response from the left is 'Oh' followed by 'We chill'. The final message from the right is 'alr'.

War

A four-panel rage comic. Panel 1 shows a simple stick figure arguing about WWII being 'based' to a Trollface who replies, 'you still think there was a war?'. Panel 2 features a screaming, wide-mouthed Trollface delivering a rant about Babylon, unreal wars, and genocide. Panel 3 shows a menacing, detailed Trollface asking conspiratorial questions about merchants, crosses, scientists, and disposing of bodies. Panel 4 features a highly distorted, demonic black Trollface head surrounded by a colorful Ouroboros (a dragon biting its tail), with the text: 'THE HEAD BITES THE TAIL, IN DEATH THEY ARE BORN.'

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