Worst Jokes Ever

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Chance Memes

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A news headline reads, "An asteroid the size of a small town is headed straight towards India." An illustration shows an asteroid headed toward India from space.

Why should you care

The image shows a two-panel meme about a role-playing game. The top panel shows a 20-sided die with a 20 facing up and the text "You shout 'That king is an imposter! I'm the real king!' You get an instant kingdom." The bottom panel shows the same die with the number 1 facing up and the text "You shout 'That king is the real king! I'm an imposter!' That's not what I meant to shout." Both die are laying on some wood.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel comic featuring a stick figure with a troll face. The first panel reads, "How to have a higher chance of winning in Russian roulette." The second panel shows the stick figure holding a pistol and reads, "Step 1: acquire a semi automatic pistol instead of a revolver". The third panel shows the stick figure holding the pistol and another stick figure with a concerned face and reads, "Step 2: tell your friend to go first." The fourth panel reads, "Problem death?" and shows the troll face again.

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Anonymous

A picture of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka with text above that reads, "None of the new Willy Wonka movies have understood that Gene Wilder's version of Wonka worked because you felt like there was a real chance he was just gonna sit there and watch those kids die."

rapboat

The image shows a text about Chance the Rapper releasing an album after three years. He says he is proud, but the text continues with the reaction of the entire rap community who say "Hahaha. This sucks man." Below the text there is a picture of a man looking up with the caption "Hahaha. This sucks man."

TaylorSwiftBoat

A tweet saying "Chance the rapper dropped 'The Big Day' And America responded by having 3 straight mass shootings."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Change.org petition page with the title "Make Shrek the National Bird". The page shows a picture of Shrek with a U.S. flag background. The petition has 161,843 signatures out of a goal of 200,000, and it was started April 28, 2017 and addressed to President Donald J. Trump and 2 others.

The Unknown King of Moderation

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

Goku is dum

Dam bro giga Chad has a Pokémon card😮

A fake Pokemon card featuring an image of a muscular person, labeled "Ultra Giga Chad" with 200 HP. The card has two moves, "True Power" that "Can 1 Hit anybody Even Black people Like people", with "Rangi Techoke" as the first name, and "Ultra Power", which states "If You look at Ultra Giga Chad Your chances of dieing are very high!"

ligmaballs2.0

wt

The image uses the Drake meme format. In the top panel, Drake is shown with a disapproving expression, hand up as if to say no, next to the text "Chance a virus with a 99.97% recovery rate." In the bottom panel, Drake is smiling and pointing with a finger, as if in agreement, next to the text "Alter my DNA from an experimental vaccine, with NO liability, from a corrupt industry." There is a text label FALSE in a red box on the left.

LoserIsPro

I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get (again)

Two orange dice are displayed, one showing '4' and the other '20'. The total is '24'. Below the dice, there is a button with the text 'Roll'.

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️

Pokémon

A purple bow with a face is designed as a Pokemon card, with the title Bow, moves such as Hypnosis and Kick, and a description of each move.

Kai :)

emo

rate me honestly

The image asks: "Would I date you" and provides four answers with emojis: "YASSSS" with heart eyes and kissy face, "Maybe" with a slightly smiling face and two hearts, "Idk" with a neutral face, and "Not a chance" with a hand waving.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

sussy game artifact

The image shows two in-game items. One is labeled "Lube", a legendary artifact that increases dodge chance. The other is a "Walking Cane", an epic artifact that increases speed.

Manga fan

Meme:

A close-up shot of a squash plant with a sharp twig impaled on a thin vine. The text reads, "Your chances of being killed by a squash plant are low but never zero."